For those who don’t know the reference, the above are lyrics to “Actions and Motives,” by 10 Years. A great band and a great song. And a perfect way to open this post.
Yesterday, I gave you all a snapshot of the horrors of prom, but I realized that I could not cram all I wanted to say into one blog post on the subject without smothering you all. So, I’m going to dedicate my next few posts to the subject matter. Today’s being: the things girls will do and say to make you think they’re in your corner when really, they’re all pushing their own agendas.
Girls are horrible. I’m not the first person to express that sentiment, and I certainly won’t be the last. But they’re a particularly nasty kind of horrible when they’re trying to get attention from the guys.
As prom planning starts to rear its ugly head, some of your single friends will start to panic, stepping up their flirtatious games with their high school crushes and stepping up their con-artist tendencies.
I was the stupid, naive girl in high school who thought that when my friends asked me who I liked, they were just genuinely curious. They’re usually not.
Text messaging and Facebook and Twitter are very scary tools in the hands of the immature, jealous, most definitely insecure, girls that we all still are in high school. I would text my friends something in confidence, and the next thing I knew, it would be broadcasted all over the school. I would privately message a girl friend on Facebook, and she would forward that message along to the cute boy she was grilling me about (“Do you like him?” “Why do you like him?” “Do you think anyone else likes him?” “What if I told you ‘so-and-so’ likes him? What do you think about her?”)
And guess what the really horrid thing is. When you forward someone’s text or Facebook message, you can change the words around. You can insert anything you want into the text, and no one would ever know the original sender didn’t really say all that nonsense.
Oh, technology. It was so horrible back then, and still is now, and it definitely made me cry myself to sleep many nights. Especially around the time of prom.
Because as prom approaches, for some reason, some girls get it in their heads that there’s only a limited number of guys, so that means, if you’re single, you better scoop up whoever’s left real fast or be left sulking alone on the corner of the dance floor. (I even knew a girl in my grade who figured out our girl to guy class ratio based on who was still single and available… and we were a BIG graduating class).
The advice I have for any of you girls currently going through anything remotely like what I’m describing? Ignore it all.
Do NOT gab all over town about the guys you like and why you like them and all that nonsense. Keep it to yourself. It’s your business anyway, no one else’s. Not even your best friend’s.
Do NOT worry so much about getting asked to prom, and certainly don’t spend a lot of time and energy worrying about it. Just calm down, be yourself, and remember that it’s just a dance. Nothing more.
If you think one of your friends is acting catty toward you, for whatever the reason may be, call her out on it. You don’t need to take that, and you shouldn’t take that. Especially from a friend.
It’s been said a lot before and it’s still said a lot now, but I think it’s worth emphasizing to all of you one more time. If girls would spend less of their time and energy trying to tear others down, we would all be a lot happier, a lot more confident and a lot more relaxed. There is no reason for two girls to be fighting/competing over a guy. He’s just a guy. I don’t care if he’s popular. I don’t care if he’s “the only one who understands you” right now. I know it seems that way. But it’s probably not true.
This is only high school, and everyone still has a lot of growing up to do. So, don’t get sucked into the web of viciousness. And don’t start a web, yourself. Rise above it. Be you. And stop worrying so much. High school is almost over, and, even though these are all good learning experiences, it really does all get so much better from here on out.