Below, I’ve listed 10 things that I think every girl has wanted to tell one of her friends once or twice before… but never had the nerve. Or maybe she did! And then kudos to her, because I think that if these things were said more often, and friends voiced their concerns more often, there would be less bitchiness among us all.
But feel free to tell me if you disagree (or agree) in the comments section by leaving me a message! Did I leave anything out? Am I wrong about some of these?
Disclaimer: Personally, I think it’s pretty rare in life to have more than one or two people who you are able to call “best” friends. So, if your girl friend is guilty of more than a couple of these 10 things below, then maybe she’s just not the friend you thought she was. Trust me, as a girl who has been through the ringer and back (and experienced ALL of this behavior both with past and current friends), sometimes it’s better to just let the bad ones go and move on to someone who will hopefully be a person you can one day call a TRUE friend.
1. I’m really upset that you’re not making a big deal about my birthday. There have been SO many friends and SO many times I wish I said this simple sentence! Honey, if she’s not making a big deal about your upcoming birthday, first give her the off-chance benefit of the doubt that she’s planning you a surprise party. If your birthday PASSES and she ignores it, chances are you should move on, sweetheart. Unless she apologizes like crazy. And, even then, keep an eye on her in the future. No one should ever be too busy to forget to acknowledge a true friend’s birthday.
2. We have different likes and dislikes, but I feel like we always do what YOU like to do. On this one, I would just flat out call her out on it. Don’t start a fight! Girls are selfish creatures by nature, and she probably doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. Maybe phrase it in a way like, “I had a lot of fun going pole fishing with you last weekend, but tonight maybe we could just go see that movie I’ve been dying to see.” I bet she’ll be a lot more responsive if you just nicely suggest something fun you’d like to do with her! And yes, I said pole fishing.
3. I’m jealous of you. Well, this is the big one. EVERY girl has thought this about a friend at one point or another. I’m jealous of some of my friends. I’m sure some of them are jealous of me. And we’re probably jealous for all different sorts of reasons. It’s what girls do! We have this strange need to immediately size each other up–to be the best of the best, even in our social circles. And it’s so stupid! Don’t let jealousy get in the way of a great friendship. We’re all special in our own ways.
4. I feel like you make your boyfriend more of a priority than me. Oh boy. A boy. They’re always somehow in the picture, aren’t they? Maybe tell her, “I know that you love hanging out with him, but I miss hanging out with you. Want to do something one night this week?” She’ll say yes. And if she doesn’t? Well… chances are she’s not going to be with him forever. So maybe wait it out. I don’t know. This one’s your call.
5. If you text me that you can’t go out with me later for whatever excuse, then don’t have the nerve to tweet and instagram pictures of your “fun night out” with your other friends the next morning. I’m not stupid. Oh girls, girls, girls. Y’all are addicted to social media, but you use it in the WORST ways! Honey, if you’re ever left sitting on the sofa one night only to wake up the next morning to a slew of your girl friend’s little pictures on every social media account, call her out on it. Seriously. If the girl can’t cover her tracks, show her you’re not stupid enough to sit back and take it. Don’t scroll through the pictures and feel sorry for yourself or wonder what you did wrong. Go out and have a fun night! Trust me, she’s not worth it.
6. And, on that note… don’t tweet everything from what you had for breakfast to exactly what time you’re going to sleep. You’re not making anyone jealous. I don’t know why people think we want to read their every thought, action and bodily function via Twitter, but for some reason, this is what our generation prides itself on. Your friend’s not a bad person for doing this; it’s just one of my personal pet peeves.
7. You really hurt me the other day, but I don’t know how to tell you without starting an immediate fight. Tell her. If she starts to scream, don’t scream back. Cry if you want. Your emotions are probably raw and real and important. But tell her that you really just want to talk about what happened and that you don’t want to fight, because you love HER, you just don’t love the way she acted.
8. I don’t appreciate that you forwarded that text I sent you the other day to someone else. And I REALLY don’t appreciate you changing my words around to make me look bad. Again, this is girls using social media as their own personal playground, and I wish it would stop. If you’re one of the few lucky ones (yes, I said lucky) to find out a friend has done this to you, confront her. And also, go straight to the person she changed the text to and tell him/her the truth. When I was in high school, I had a “friend” forward some texts I sent her about a boy I liked TO the boy, but changing the words to make me look crazy and obsessive. Oh, high school. I found out later on she did me a favor (he was certainly not a keeper), but in the moment, I wish I had confronted her and told the boy the truth. She was not a real friend and I would have saved myself a lot of pain and humiliation if I had dumped her right on the spot.
9. All girls can be catty, but you’re my friend. You’re supposed to have my back. So true. If I look funny one day, or my eyeliner is crooked, just TELL ME. Why would you let me walk around looking like a fool?
10. Don’t talk to the boy I like for me. I’m my own person and don’t need you meddling in my life just to start your own drama. Well, refer to #8. In my experience, if a girl is offering to talk to a boy you like FOR YOU, it’s to cause trouble. She does NOT have your back. Let this just be a rule of thumb to all you girls out there who haven’t yet made my mistakes. Trust me, it continues after high school. I had it happen to me last semester, and I’m now in my last year of college!